“We can opt for hatred of hatred…or instead we can take as a model for our social as well as psychological well-being the complex, often painful reality of motherhood.”
Dark Side of the Müm is my newest book and upcoming podcast, both about the dark side of motherhood.
My experience as mother and therapist has drawn my attention to a misunderstanding about the reality of new motherhood in a modern world – that suffering which goes beyond two weeks is a sign of something ‘abnormal’ and ‘diagnosable’. The repercussions of this misunderstanding go far and wide but perhaps the most damaging effect is one I see most in my work – the repression and shame of the shadow side of mothering, making the true nature of motherhood forbidden and unmentionable. So we find ourselves in a split between mothers with, and mothers without post-natal depression.
My mission is two-fold – to destigmatise the dark side of motherhood, and to raise awareness of the normality of ‘negative’ thoughts towards our babies and ourselves, in order to effectively support mothers with compassion and understanding. I am also researching the current definition and understanding of post-natal depression and attempting to find out whether we, with those working in perinatal mental health, could reconsider the realities of motherhood, so that mothers aren’t mis-diagnosed, or left unsupported.
The podcast and book will be a collection of mother-mother dialogues sharing stories about the messy side of motherhood, so we can re-frame what it means to ‘not cope’, reduce shame, and make space for the heavenly parts of motherhood in a more authentic and realistic way.
Details about the book and podcast will be published shortly. If you are interested in hearing more, or contributing to either book or podcast please do get in touch.